Category: culture

A Book List

A friend of mine nominated me on facebook, I must admit I was relieved to realize the nomination is actually about books… But to me it’s probably as challenging as the other one involves water and ice. So many books have taken me to amazing places, met fascinating people, experienced their times, I shed tears for their joy and pain, I imagined myself lived their lives… Sorry if it sounds melodramatic, when it comes to books, I just can’t help it.

My all-time favourite of English books would be (in no particular order):

The Silence of the Lambs by Thomas Harris (all 4 books, the whole series) – I absolutely adore Hannibal Lecter.

–  To Kill a Mocking Bird by Lee Harper – I would marry Atticus Finch anytime, I would choose him 100 times even if both Atticus and Brad Pete asked me at the same time…

Three Men in a Boat by Jerome K Jerome – Uncle Podger cracks me up every single time when I’m frustrated at work, for that reason I would recommend it to all my colleagues. .

Not a Penny More, Not a Penny Less by Jeffrey Archer – an absolute masterpiece of plotting…

Jane Erye

The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde

Then in the last few years, I enjoyed very much reading the following:

Pillars of the Earth, and World without End, both by Ken Follet

A 100-year Old Man Who Climbed Out of a Window by Jonas Jonasson

The Book Thief by Makus Zusak

Water for Elephant by Sara Greun (the movie was an utmost disappointment)

The Memory Keeper’s Daughter by Kim Edwards

The Kite Runner

Curious Incidents of the Dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon

A Whole New World by Daniel H Pink

This summer I picked up a book called ‘The Shortest History of Europe’ by John Hirst. Not my usual subjects but the author made it such an easy yet informative read I would like to recommend to you all.

Now I’ve done my bit, I’m interested in what your list would be.  

Have a nice weekend!


Weekly Photo Challenge: Community

This is a rather late entry, however I’m glad I still have the opportunity to share with you what have caught my eye, and mind.

Recently I visited Singapore Biennale – If the World Changed. Among many inspiring exhibits, I found this one suits the theme of the week the best.

The title of the exhibit is ‘Waiting Room’. I am going to quote the visit guide: “Waiting Room echoes the many episodes of ‘waiting’ faced by transgender persons, such as waiting for a family’s acceptance, for the legalization of official personal documents, and for confirmation of and acceptance into regular employment. The installation is constructed to mimic a typical clinic, presenting an all-too-familiar journey in the lives if transgender persons as they undergo various phases of constructive surgery, before what is considered the defining procedure: gender reassignment surgery. The chairs, pamphlets and posters are imprinted with drawings and messages, appealing for public openness and understanding while sharing the complexities of the situations faced by the community.”

Thank you Shieko Reto.


Weekly Photo Challenge: Culture

OK this is the second time I am here for the Weekly Photo Challenge. From the brief the submissions are supposed to be thoughts provoking, curiosity provoking, and hopefully a glimpse of different culture foreign to our own.

So I decided to cheat a bit, I chose a subject that most cultures will either shy away or try to be quiet about it, but not in Bhutan, a country that Buddhism religion, mythology and history have interwoven tightly into each other for thousands of years…


Yes you are seeing it right, your eyes are not playing a trick on you. What painted on the wall of this humble cottage are a Garuda – a mystic bird, and two Phalluses – erected penis. Both are considered auspicious signs that would ward off evil spirits and protect households and habitants.

The story goes back to 600 years ago, the legendary Drupka Kingley, aka “The Divine Madman”, subdued demons in a form of flying phallus so as to protect villagers and their processions. Drupka Kingley holds an important role in Bhutanese history and mythology. Many stories are related to him and his unique ways of teaching through dances, songs, and sometimes erotic forms.

I guess that’s why we travel – to see the world from various angles and to hear stories from different sides. I love it!

Bhutan – Happiness is a Place

I have always wanted to visit Bhutan, for its secretiveness – the country didn’t open its door to the world until the late 1960s, until now operations of tourism are still on a tight leash; for its deep religious roots– the Kingdom is built on Buddhism beliefs and values; for its uniqueness – Bhutan is the only government in the world measures its growth by GNH (Gross National Happiness) rather than commonly practiced GDP.

According to a survey conducted by Business Week in 2006, Bhutan is rated the happiest country in Asia and the 8th happiest in the world.

Really? I wondered.

For years it was on my list of destinations, but the compulsory minimum spending of USD250 per day per head had put me off for a while.  However when my travel plans of Iran and Sri Lanka fell apart, Bhutan came to rescue.

I boarded the plane half asleep, getting up at 3am to catch the flight tired me out before the journey even started. The lady at the Druk Air counter kindly gave me a window seat on the left side, “so you can see the mountains”, she said.

I was awaken by the captain’s announcement half hour before descending, I looked out of the window – there I saw the mountains – the Himalayas – in distance Mt. Everest covered in snow, austere yet elegant.  The elderly lady sat next to me uttered – “Spectacular…”

30 minutes later, we landed at Paro airport, with only one runway I reckon it’s probably the smallest international airport in the world. What’s more, the cars passing by the airport have to stop during aircraft landing – sorry I digressed.

It was 8 degrees when I stepped outside the airplane, the change of temperature was drastic compare with Delhi, the chill in the air woke me up right away, and it was refreshing.

I was amazed by the colors – blue sky, green mountains, peach trees blossom in pink, and multi colored prayer flags… every color was of its maximum saturation, so rich, so bright.

Nice – I thought. The next I realized my blackberry didn’t work here – maybe not so nice, I thought again.

My journey started from Thimphu, the capital city since 1961, where one seventh Bhutan’s population lives, a city dotted with many hotels, restaurants, handicraft shops, and ongoing constructions.

The itinerary for Thimphu was packed – from the palace to several museums, from religious sites to institutions of heritages and cultures, from paper factory to takin reserve…  Despite the fatigue I caught in the last two weeks, I whirled around Thimphu as a greedy tourist, in and out Dzongs and galleries, snapped photos from every possible angle… I wanted to take everything in; I wanted to make sure my hard earned money spent worthwhile (mind you I had to pay an extra of USD40 a day as a single traveler) …

Same as its counterparts in other Buddhism countries, Thimphu is facing challenges brought by foreign pop cultures and imported consumer commodities, while striving to remain the values it has inherited for thousands of years. Just like the way the people dressed in Thimphu – girls wear half Kiras while boys don adidas t-shirts underneath their Ghos – it’s mixed and match, a balance between the old and the new, a struggle of preserving traditions while accepting necessary changes of development.

The following day I was taken to Changankha Ihakhang the national meditation centre located on the outskirts of Thimphu. Kungzang the driver pointed out a cluster of white Dzong style buildings up on the cliff when we were approaching – that’s our destination. Across a bridge we entered in Jigme Dorji National Park, welcomed by a Tibetan style stupa on the left and a huge Buddhism painting on rock on the right.  Changankha Ihakhang is the oldest temple in Thimphu, situated on a ridge overlooking the city, was constructed in 12th century. The trial took about two pleasant hours in return. I probably clicked another hundreds of photographs along the way, but none could do enough justice to the ancient beauty.

My second destination was Punakha, the city served as the country’s capital for 30 years before handing over power to Thimphu. Mani the tour guide asked if I would like to see a festival celebration in a village 40km outside Punakha, his youngest brother studies in the monastery there.

We set off in the crack of dawn hoping to reach Tola by mid morning, the Hyundai Tucson meandered along Dochula Pass, and I was delighted to know the day was also the National Day of Happiness in Bhutan. I was in the Kingdom of Happiness on the Day of Happiness; you can’t get a more auspicious sign than that!

Unfortunately the day wasn’t clear enough so I didn’t get to see the Himalaya Range from the highest point of the pass at altitude of 3,150m, nevertheless the 108 chortens at the peak was a sight so special that I’d never forget.

The drive from Thimphu to Punakha was not for faint hearted, heavily decorated TATA trucks bullied their way through, showed no sign of slowing down for the oncoming traffic, and only missed each other by fraction of a second. For those usually suffer from car sickness, please take extra measures for the journey, a turn would be expected every three hundred meters, and most of them are sharp ones…

We reached the village at around ten thirty, again the first thing I saw was a sea of colors – people in their finest clothes, prayer flags flying high, and the bright yellow tapestries surrounding the temple. Dancers in colorful costumes and animal shaped masks were getting ready for the performance.

Before the dance I went for tea with Mani and his monk brother, the boy is in his late teen, to my surprises the pin-ups in the young monks dorm were not only the images of religious leaders, but also football jerseys and pictures of pop stars. Mani’s brother supports Barcelona while his friend follows Manchester City. I spotted a water ladler painted in red and with a smiley face on the back, seeing me took a great interest in it, the young monk squeezed a shy smile, he made it. A butterfly made of matches hanging on the wall – he made that too. Whilst admiring his work I noticed a small picture of Kareena Kapoor, the Bollywood sensation, “you like her?” I asked. The young monk blushed – “yes”.

The ritual dance was long, I tried to make out the animal each mask represented, and there were a pig, a bird, a dog, a monkey, a stag, and few others. A couple of days later in the Bhutan National Museum I learnt that each animal mask symbolizes a human feeling and emotion – arrogance, hatred, laziness, shrewdness, haughtiness, humiliations… and there’s an Atsara who rises above all emotions at every scene. As per the narration in the Museum, one’s mind can be purified by watching the mask dance.

After lunch we departed for the Punakha Dzong, the second largest and also the second oldest fortress in the country, built in 1638. Although I had already visited grand Tashichho Dzong in Thimphu, the architectural exquisiteness and solemnity of Buddhism ritual still caught my eyes and heart instantly. The hidden doors and narrow corridors on the exterior walls were ingenious designs of Shapdrunwho the Unifier of the Kingdom to defeat the invading Tibetan army. The elaborated paintings on the wall and ceiling tell Buddhism stories in a vivid manner. The most precious relic in the country (a figuring of Buddha made of Buddha’s backbone after cremation) is kept here. It was in display until few years ago someone tried to steal it.

The statue of Buddha in Punakha Dzong is 600 years old, has survived three severe floods and is still intact; it is believed any wish made in front of the statue will be fulfilled. When I learnt this piece of information, somehow my mind went blank, I couldn’t think of anything in particular I really wanted or need…  Eventually I stammered – happiness, dear Buddha, please bring me happiness… I know it sounded lame, but to my defense what else can be more appropriate than asking for happiness on the Day of Happiness?!

Outside the main prayer hall a colorful thangka caught my attention – The Wheel of Life, a Buddhism painting that I have seen many times in Bhutan. Mani explained to me that the three animals in the innermost circle represented three fires of life, or otherwise the three poisons. The fact that these are positioned at the very centre of the Wheel of Life indicates how fundamental they are in sustaining the cycle of birth and death with all its attendant suffering. The pig represents delusion, the rooster greed and the snake hatred.  How true…

It was also in Punakha that I was struck by a ten-inch ivory phallus on my head as a form of blessing. After a pleasant twenty minutes walk through paddy field, I reached Chimi Lhakang, the sacred temple of fertility deeply connected to the Saint Divine Madman, the temple is visited by parents of sickly children and couples waiting on conceiving all over the country, although neither profile fits me, the blessing was granted before I could even say no thanks… Again Mani told me stories of legendary Saint Drukpa Kinley, aka Saint Divine Madman due to his unorthodox methods of teaching via songs, humor and sometimes bizarre and shocking behavior with deep sexual overtones. In the first couple of days of my travel, I was shocked to see that together with many other auspicious symbols, lots of houses are decorated with paintings of the male reproduction organ. Chimi Lhakang revealed to me that in Bhutan erected penis is said to ward off evil… same as the Linga in Hinduism. Phew… no need to look away anymore!

On the fourth day of the trip I was back to Paro again, paid a visit the oldest temple in the Kingdom built by Chinese Princess Wencheng in Tang Dynasty so as to help her husband, Tibetan King Tsongsten Gambo, to conquer demons and enemies. But the absolute highlight of the trip was going up to Takshang Monastery that hanging magically on a steep cliff at altitude of 3180m. It is probably the most photographed temple in Bhutan, an iconic site of the Kingdom.

If it was not for a group of Tibetan pilgrims arrived at the monastery before the gate opening, I would have become the first tourist reached the Tiger’s Nest of the day… I even made a mental note on the way to include it in my annual appraisal… but since I was the first tourist returned to the starting point, I reckon it still deserve a mention in my appraisal…  The hill was steep and the footpath was rough, on my way down I ran into a total stranger, literally. We both laughed and I gave the elderly gentleman a proper hug, I would still be running if it was for him… so why not?

Besides the accommodation and three meals, coming within the package of minimum USD250 per day are a car, a driver and a tour guide who accompany you throughout the trip. It could be a daunting thought that you have to spend most of the trip in a confined environment with someone you don’t really know. I was relieved to meet Mani and Kungzang at the airport; they both were courteous and went out their ways to please. Later I noticed almost all tour guides and drivers process the similar qualities as these two. Their witty conversations left no space for dull moment.

Kentu, the first tour guide in Bhutan has inspired many of those who followed his steps. Mani is obviously a big fan. When travelling in Bhutan you’d see animals wandering casually on the road, most common ones are goats, cows, and dogs. One of Kentu’s stories is about them – once upon a time a dog, a cow and a goat were travelling on bus, the fare was 5 nu, dog paid 10 nu, cow paid 5, and goat didn’t buy the ticket, ever since, whenever there’s a vehicle coming, goat ran away as it thought the bus was coming after it; cow couldn’t be bothered as it paid its due; dog runs after bus because he wants his change back…

Another time when Kentu was accompanying guests on the bridge to the Punakha Dzong, guests saw fish swarming in the river, so they teased Kentu if he knew how many fish were in the river, Kentu replied – “at the moment our country is doing the census of people, once this is done we shall start the census of fish, I shall let you know the answer after that.”

Mani and Kungzang told me sometimes during the peak season they had to stay in “Korea Guest House” or “Japanese Guest House” for hotels would be fully booked, they laughed when I commented the services must be very good for knowing the impeccable hospitalities of these two countries. It turned out the Guest House was the car they travelling with, depends on the maker it could be either Korean or Japanese.

When we had extra time Mani and Kungzang took me to archery ranges to watch friendly competitions between villagers. If cricket is the national sport of India, then archery is definitely the one for Bhutan. Wherever there’s an open space, there is an archery range. Different from the Olympic archery, target is 145m away when play in Bhutanese style. Both ends of the range are circulated with colorful flags, friends sing to encourage each other or trash talk in a fun way to distract the other team.

We went to see darts competition too, unlike the game played in the West, Bhutanese darts are much bigger and heavier while the target is much smaller, and the distance is much further. Same as archery, dart is an outdoor game exclusively for men. Contestant throws darts at the target 50 meters away, his team mates would dance to celebrate a hit and chant encouragement for a miss.

I got on with Mani and Kungzang so well that Mani asked if I’d like to go to a bar in Paro, it’s not in our itinerary. I was curious what the night life scene would be in this Buddhism kingdom. The entertainment centre of Paro is a three-storey building, the bar is on the ground level. It is a room of 150 square meters, with six rows of chairs lined up in classroom setting, facing a stage. When we entered a boy and girl in their early twenties were dancing to the music on stage, it was a modern Bhutanese song, but the steps and moves were clearly Bollywood, only the beats were much slower.  There was no band on stage, music was played on a mp3.

Kungzang ordered tea and Mani ordered a bottle of Druk Beer each for himself and me; it was a big bottle – 675ml, and it was strong – 8% of alcohol, although I liked the taste, I could hardly finish a glass, the rest all went to Mani. While we were drinking a girl in Kira came to take request of songs, Mani requested a traditional Bhutanese song for my sake, and each song cost 100NU, about 2 dollars. At the second floor a Hindi Bollywood movie was screening.

The question about happiness occurred to me again; I asked Kungzang and Mani if they were happy. Kungzang replied he’s happy he has a job, and everyone in Bhutan has a job, whether it’s studying religion in monasteries, taking white collar positions in cities, or being a shop assistant or waiting in restaurants, or farming in villages. Everyone has a job, has a way of making a living, and has a way to contribute. During my stay in Bhutan, I didn’t see a single beggar. Everyone works with their own hands, every family is self reliance. You wake up in the morning knowing what needs to be done, and go to bed in the night feeling fulfilled, wouldn’t you be happy?

Like all the good times, my lovely holiday has come to an end, on the opening day of Dzongdrakha Festival I packed up my bags and ready to leave, out there Dzongs and Chortens are packed with worshipers. Oh how much I loved the last few days! Every site I visited has a beautiful story attached to it. Myths and history intertwined with each other. Truths of life are embedded in colorful Thangkas waiting to be discovered.

In the last few days I bowed many times in front of various deities, the bezoars water I drank is enough to keep evils away from me for a long long time. Although I still struggle to pronounce the names of important legendary figures, Koozoo Zangpo (hello) and Ga Deng Che (thank you) had won me many smiles and opened many locked doors. Although I missed Guru Rinpuche’s treasure box up in the Tiger’s Nest, and I haven’t been able to check emails for a week (which had never happened before), I don’t have any anxiety, and I feel happy.

Tomorrow I would be back to a city where lights outshine stars, blackberry works, and skyline keeps growing… Will the happiness fade away as time goes by? The outer circle of the Wheel of Life shows six realms of Samsara, the circle of birth and death. The realm of Human is regarded the best among the six in Buddhism, for it offers opportunities of moral actions and spiritual advancement, it is eventually down to every individual to decide which path one shall follow, what deed one shall do. Ultimately we are the results of our own choices. I am not a Buddhist, but this theory makes sense to me. While the whole world is bustling and advancing, I come to realize that my happiness is decided by me, it is my choice, I could keep my own pace, live by my values, it’s down to my judgment whether a situation is a challenge or an opportunity, a problem or a new experience, eventually they are like fleeting views outside windows, they will pass, they will all pass, I shall enjoy whatever comes along the way, whatever they are, they add spices to my life, they make my life richer.

I am happy with that.

Tashi Telek Bhutan, thank you for showing the place, it’s called – Happiness.

Taksang - Tiger's Nest
Taksang – Tiger’s Nest
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ruins of Drukgyel Dzong in Paro
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Ta Dzong – the former watch tower, nowadays the Bhutan National Museum
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Peach tree in blossom outside Kyichu Lhakang in Paro
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mountain pass
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Chimi village in Punakha
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don’t be offended, phallus is said to ward off evils, it’s one of many auspicious signs in Bhutan
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Punakha Dzong
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lost in details
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i can only imagine the view would be as good as the windows
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rice terrace
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108 chortens at the highest point of Dochula Pass
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my artistic monk friend who likes kareena kapoor
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a glimpse of Tashi Chho Dzong in Thimphu
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archery range – the target is 145m away
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Thimphu – the capital city
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only in Bhutan
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Takin – Bhutan’s national animal
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Changangkha Lakhang in Thimphu, altitude of 2800m
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The Wheel of Life


Fast Facts of Bhutan:

Area:                                     38,394 square km

Population:                         700,000

Political System:               Constitutional Monarchy

Religion:                               Buddhism, Hinduism

Location:                              surrounded by China, India, and Nepal.

Something Odd About Weddings

I don’t go to weddings if I can help, because I don’t like to be questioned by distant relatives and acquaintances about my choices of life. I once told my mother that I would prepare a list of “FAQs” for her to distribute at these occasions so both of us can be spared from feeling awkward.

I can count with one hand the number of weddings I have been to (exclude the ones my parents forced me to when I was a lot younger…). The first three were weddings of my best friends, and I emceed two for not having to give a big fat red envelope with a wad of cash (sorry for being stingy but I didn’t have much to spare then…). The fourth one  I was obliged to go, and the fifth one – that’s ultimately the most exciting one, no family interrogations, no judgment, just colors, music, mixed with exotic traditions, moreover, the fun! I enjoyed it so much that I had forgotten my limited tolerance of alcoholic beverage; I was the most inebriated girl in the north hemisphere… Ever since then I realized maybe I do like weddings, as long as there are no distant relatives of mine.

Well, here I am in my beloved India, and it is the wedding season again in the holy land. so I thought it may just be a seasonable moment to share with you all an interesting article I read in Times of India a while ago, my mother-in-law loved it a lot when I messaged her the bits and pieces, I hope you’d enjoy too …

Bengali weddings:  women from the bride’s family rise at the break of dawn and arrange a plate of aarti complete with sweets, twigs and incense, and go over to invite the Ganges to the wedding of their daughter. The holy river is believed to bless the girl in her future life. 

Bihari weddings: This could be a rather curious post-wedding ritual performed by any groom’s-side-of-the-family on bringing the bride home. Here an eager, expectant bride suddenly finds herself grappling with a huge earthen pot set on her head by her mother-in-law. Without losing time, few more pots are added to the pile while she is expected to bow down and touch the elders’ feet. As the dramatic scene is played out, all and sundry gather to see how many pots the new bride actually balances, which is ostensibly an indicator of her skills at striking a balance in the family.

Tribal wedding in UP: Sarsaul, a small town in Kanpur district has given a new dimension to wedding hospitality. In keeping with the tradition, the baaratis here are not greeted with flowers and rose water spray, instead tomatoes and potatoes are hurled at them followed by a round of choicest abuses. Your sides might hurt imaging such a welcome, but the tradition takes root in the belief that a relationship that doesn’t begin on a not-so-happy note always culminates in love.

Rabha weddings in Assam: The weddings of the Rabha tribes of Assam is an aesthetic affair. Performed as per Gandharva marriage tradition, the ceremony involves a simple exchange of garlands – no pheras around the fire, and a lavish feast to round it up with. An extremely patriarchal ritual, the newly wed on their first day together at the boy’s family home is expected to give a hand in cooking the afternoon meal and serve only to the male, elderly members of the family. For the rest, food is served in subsequent batches by the helpers.

Kumaoni weddings: The use of flags in the marriage ceremony sets Himachali weddings apart. Traditionally, a white flag called ‘Nishan’ leads the marriage procession representing the bridegroom, followed by drummers, pipers and a white palanquin carrying the groom. The last man of the procession carries another flag, of red colour, representing the bride. When the marriage party returns from the girl’s home after completing all ceremonies, the red flag takes the lead followed by a red palanquin of the bride, succeeded by the white palanquin of the groom, and the white flag at the tail end of the procession.

Tamil Brahmin weddings: At an Iyer wedding, just as the groom is about to step into the mandapam for the actual wedding ceremony, he has a change of mind and decides to pursue ‘sanyaasam’ (asceticism). An age-old Brahmin tradition ‘Kasi Yaatrai’ this, the bride’s father too plays his part of a distressed father by reaching out to the groom and convincing him to take up ‘Grahastham’ (family life) with his daughter who would in turn support him in his spiritual pursuit. Umbrella, Bhagwad Gita, hand fan and sandals are the props used by the bride’s father to win his would-be-son-in-law back.

My personal favorite is the Bihari pot balancing act, I wonder how long does the bride have to practice?

Coincidently this morning when I was browsing on a website, I found an article introducing odd wedding rituals around the world, here are the few abstracts.

Korea: In Korea, after the wedding ceremony, the Groom’s friends take off his shoes, tie his ankles together and beat the soles of his feet with dried Corvina-a type of fish! Apparently this will make the groom stronger for his wedding night.

 Finland: In some Finnish weddings the Bride’s mother in law or godmother places a china plate on the Bride’s head before the happy couple performs the first dance. When the plate falls, the pieces are collected and counted by the guests. The number of pieces determines how many children the newlyweds will have.

Ethiopia: On the day of an Ethiopian wedding the Groom and 3 or 4 of his ‘best men’ go to the Bride’s house. There, the entrance to the house will be blocked by the Bride’s family and friends. The Groom and his best men must sing strongly in order to ‘force’ their way into the house. Once inside the first best man sprays the house with perfume.

 Borneo-Tidong: The Tidong people can be found in Sabah, Malaysia and East Kalimantan, Indonesia. Newlyweds in this tribe are not allowed to go to the toilet for 72 hours. They are put into isolation and watched by their families. They are allowed small amounts of food and water. If they cheat, it is believed they will bring bad luck, like the death of their child.

China-Tujia: The Tujia people from Central China are the 6th largest ethnic minority in China. A month before her wedding the Bride cries for about an hour. Ten days later, her mother joins in. Another ten days later the Bride’s grandmothers, aunts and sisters also join in. This is called the Crying Song, unsurprisingly.

Carry on reading if you are not bored yet, I can tell you a few episodes of my own wedding.  Unlike the other brides, my only duty for the wedding was to get dresses of my own and the flower girls. The rest was all taken care of by my husband.

I ordered a white Chinese dress which confused the tailor in great deal, because in China, red is for weddings and the white is for funerals. Red is the symbol of joy – and what is more joyous than a wedding?

My wedding took place in South Africa; obviously it is too far to apply the Chinese color restrictions. Days before the wedding, I thought my dress may crease in suitcase so I took it out and hung it in the room; my sister-in-law panicked,  she told me the groom is not supposed to see the wedding dress before the day else it would bring bad luck… thank heavens the-groom-to-be was out for a party. The dress then had to settle in the back of a teenage girl’s wardrobe.

On the wedding day the photographer came to ask for my garter for a photo – I had no idea I need one – why on the earth someone wants a piece of bride’s underwear? It turned out there was no single adult male at our wedding, so I was relieved no one would be grumpy about no garter to catch.

The following day I found a silver sixpence in the envelope my mother-in-law gave me before the ceremony, only then I realized I was supposed to have that coin in my left shoe when walking down the aisle to attract fortune and success to marriage… until today I have no heart to tell her I missed it completely… I would not be able to manage it with open toe high heels anyway…

Apart from all these mishaps it was still a beautiful day, I will always remember the old lady decorated the whole reception with orchids to symbolize my oriental heritage.

When the world is so big it is impossible to know all traditions and customs of all cultures, “odd” and “bizarre” are subjective when the practices are foreign to our own, however if we look through the facade of “strangeness”, all the rituals across the globe are aiming for the same goal – a happily married life with balance, harmony, and abundance. I see weddings throughout of the world are great fun fairs, draped in traditions and customs, pinned with high hopes and happy thoughts. Regardless how marriages turned out years later, weddings are always one of the most unforgettable events of any married couple.

If you are like me, avoiding weddings just to shrink from distant relatives and acquaintances, maybe crash a wedding of total strangers will be a good fun. After all, it is the wedding season!

p.s.: If you ever did crash a wedding, please do let me how it went…

To read more about Oddball Indian Wedding Rituals, visit

To read the full story of Weird Weddings, visit   ImageImageImage

1001 Reasons Why I Love India

I have been to India for a dozen times, yes, literally a dozen times. When I first backpacked here 7 years ago, I knew I’d be coming back, but I didn’t know I’d come back so often.

I love this country.

My colleagues on both sides of the Atlantic can’t understand my passion for India, most of them had suffered from first-hand experience of Delhi Belly, to them, India stands for I Never Do It Again. We have a leader board of those who missed work for the very same reason in our on-site office, ironically the 2nd place is actually held by a Delhi boy, at least Delhi Belly doesn’t discriminate…

My friends back home can’t make sense of my obsession either, the most frequently asked question is – “What do you eat there?” India to them is a place where busses are overloaded, streets are dirty, curry is the only form of food available, people sing and dance all day… just like the scenes in Bollywood movies.

Then my husband says – “Sweetie, if you fancy some good briyani and samosas, we could just go to Durban…”

My parents frown over the media reports – protests, bomb blasts, and recently, rape cases…

Every time someone heard I was leaving for India, they gave me a sympathetic look, as if I got the short end of the stick; when I told them that I actually love India, they ask – why?

To be honest, I don’t actually know.

I was first drawn to India for its fascinating history, rich heritage, and colorful cultures. When my friend toyed with the idea of visiting India over a drink in Bangkok, I didn’t give her any time to change mind – three weeks later, we reconvened at Panjim airport in Goa, started our month long exploring.

While my friend entered the country from Chennai, I landed in Mumbai instead, and my first night in India was in a Salvation Army guest house (recommended by Lonely Planet), frankly, I was not impressed.

Gregory David Roberts wrote in Shantram that the first three things he noticed in Bombay (Mumbai) were – the smell, the heat, and the people. So did I. I’d add on one more – the noise. Trust me, it wasn’t a good first impression.  The noise was overwhelming, the smell was pungent, the heat was suffocating, and the people – Mumbai is home for over 20 million people, what would do you expect?

Then we partied on Goan beaches, strolled in Chennai’s French quarters, drifted on the backwaters in Kerala, stumbled in the caves in Ajanta, enjoyed high tea at Taj Palace overlooking the Gateway of India, admired the sublime beauty of Taj Mahar in Agra, amazed by snake charmers in the “Pink City” Jaipur, paid tribute at Gandhi’s tomb in Delhi, and trekked in Kashamir, we had seen so much, and there were still so much more to see… I was, and am still in awe of diversity of nature India has to offer.

I’d be lying if I tell you it was all smooth sailing, it’s not. A couple of times we were stranded on trains, and another couple of times we were crammed into busses, left frustrated and annoyed. Fellow passengers took great interest in our apparent foreign looks, it took us a while to get used to the staring. Eventually we figured out there was nothing hostile, it was sheer curiosity.

I remember kissed Zeni good bye at Delhi airport before we parted our ways, we reflected on our trip over a coffee, only found we both had mixed feelings about this holy land. So there, I said – I’ll be back.

Two years later an opportunity appeared and I grabbed it in no time, I was back for six weeks, and ever since, I’d come to India every year.  Learnt from my first visit, I was well prepared, for the heat, the noise, and the always crowded streets. I spent many early evenings strolling around, chatting to the locals, and I made friends. I’ve become more than an innocent tourist.

Despite the fear of “Delhi Belly”, my Chinese genomes prompted me to take on the local food. Anyone thought Indian cuisine equals curry would be surprised. The selection is wide – taste varies from the south to the north, flavor differs between the east and the west, I once thought “naan” means Indian bread, it is actually only one of over forty kinds. I ate with fingers, struggled at the beginning but after few rounds of practice – hey, food just tasted nicer!

I took this culinary experience a little bit further, during the last few trips, I opted to be a seasonal vegetarian. In the months of my stay, I had never being bored of eating veggies or missed meat. India offers the biggest selection of vegetarian food in the whole world. You wonder how it is even possible the boring ingredients like peas, potato, spinaches, and mushrooms can be cooked in so many different ways yet palatable.

I turned on TV, tuned into music channels, and indulged myself in the Bollywood glamour. On screen girls don big black silky long hair and perfect curves, guys sport six packs and eye-catching biceps… excuse me for the cliche – they are so hot, it’s almost illegal. The forever going on singing and dancing, the upbeat rhythms and sexy moves, and the glittering costumes, all these are just so mesmerizing that the world seems falls into oblivion.

I read the papers, went through page after page of Matrimony classifieds and felt relieved that I am already married. I collected clippings of oddball Indian wedding rituals, but that’s a story for another time.

I watched cricket, on TV, on the road side, in parks, and in stadiums… The passion for cricket in this country is unparalleled, anywhere there’s an open space, there would be cricket actions going on. Sachin is the most popular name for baby boys, after the living cricket legend Sachin Tendulkar. In India, there are not one, but at least two national channels broadcasting cricket 24/7 – I thought ODI was a brand when I first visited, now I know the difference between long leg, short leg, and square leg, and every other fielding position… You don’t pick up cricket knowledge here, it is in the air, you just breathe in.

On the uneventful days I attempted to familiarize myself with names of those mystical gods and goddess, and their duties respectively, after all it was the rich tapestry of numerous ancient mythologies and thousands of traditional rituals brought me to India in the first place. It’s riveting yet confusing, however the only story I can recite is the one that young Krishna showed his mother the universe and infinity in his mouth… but if you ever read Life of Pi or watched the movie, you’d probably know the story anyway…

I shopped, till I dropped! Avoiding malls and department stores, I bargained in local markets and shops in alleys. The return was more than pleasing. Impeccable craftsmanship and unique designs often made Indian accessories most sought after gifts among my friends. I have also developed an unwavering liking for Indian cotton over the years, if you see me wearing something simple, elegant, donned with ethnic elements, highly likely it’s one of my purchases from India.

Then I ventured a little further each time too, and each time I was rewarded with nice surprises. Took one hour flight from Delhi, I found myself soaked in the zen spirit of Tibetan Buddhism at the foot of spectacular Himalayas. Then about an hour pleasant express train ride to the north from Delhi, in the Punjabi capital Chandigarh, a rose garden houses more than 50,000 rose bushes over 1600 species. If travel by car for an hour from Delhi, I would be in the new town called Greater Noida, where  no car honking, no cow wandering, there may be occasional engine roaring afar from the F1 track,  adding on a bit of excitement to the otherwise quiet community life.

From the courtyard of Jama Masjid to the porch of Gurdwara Bangla Sahib, from the lawns in Basillca of Bom Jesus to the hilly McLeo Ganj Buddhist temple, I saw gods’ followers brush shoulders with each other before they entered different shrines. There is respect, respect the fact we are all different; there is tolerance, tolerance of dissimilarities, and there is peace.

It is always the people that make a journey unforgettable, the same for India. Again Gregory David Roberts got it right in Shantram, after the smell and the heat he wrote  –  “Then there were the people.  Assamese, Jats, and Punjabis; people from Rajasthan, Bengal, and Tamil Nadu; from Pushkar, Cochin, and Konarak; warrior caste, Brahmin, and untouchable; Hindu, Muslim, Christian, Buddhist, Parsee, Jain, Animist; fair skin and dark, green eyes and golden brown and black; every different face and form of that extravagant variety, that incomparable beauty, India.”

On these excursions, I met people from all walks of life, from all over India, they are always so readily to assist and so eager to help. It is in India that I experienced the most attentive services any hospitable establishment could offer.

I have been to India for a dozen times, yes, literally a dozen times, and it has never failed to amaze me. There are still so many places to visit, so many things to do. Neither has it stopped surprising me that how much its infrastructures changed and how well its traditions kept.

I have spent lots of time here working and touring. There were days things got so frustrating that I could only laugh, there were also days I felt so touched that my eyes were moist with tears of joy. Each time I leave, I’d be prepared for the next trip again.

If you are thinking of visiting India, I’d suggest you to be prepared, for the noise, the smell, the heat, and the overcrowded streets, the last but not the least, to be prepared to be back here again, and again.ImageImageImageImage


Chinese New Year – a fortnight of celebrations

My Malaysian friend posted on her facebook page why she loved Chinese New Year – “… it’s colourful, it’s loud…” when red is the dominate colour throughout the country, when the deafening firecrackers hiss into sky,  it’s not possible for any living soul not to know Chinese New Year is here.

If you are like me, awaken by chuffing fireworks in these early mornings, maybe you also want to know what all this is about?

New Year’s Eve:  Legend has it that there was an evil spirit called “XI” in ancient times, Xi was scared of loud sound, hence people played Imagedrums and set fireworks off to keep Xi away.  In Chinese, the new year eve is called “Chu Xi”, literally it means “get rid of Xi”.

Oh, remember to clean your house on this day, it is very important, why? You will soon find out…

Day 1: On this day, there is one thing you definitely should not touch – sweeper, else it would sweep away all the good luck and fortune, even bring in the star of bad luck. If due to certain circumstances you have to sweep floor, please do remember to sweep from outside to inside so as to keep the good fortune in your house. On this day, you are not supposed to throw away garbage either.

Day 2: Married daughters are expected to visit their maiden families on the second day of the new year, with husbands and children. One the way home, daughters should bring alongbiscuits and candies, for mothers to give away to neighbors – the sweet thoughts of the girl for her families and childhood friends.

Day 3: In rural China, this day is called “Chi Gou Ri”, it’s a day to worship ancestors. Mythology has it that Chi Gou was an ill-tempered god in charge of summer in the South, an encounterwith him usually was not pleasant at all, hence on the third day of the new year, it will be wise to stay at home with your family.

Also on this day, there is a series of DON’Ts – no floorsweeping, no fire making, no taking water from wells (by the way, the wells would have been sealed off since the new year’s eve anyway). Any family resides near a well will burn joss sticks in the morning, remove the red seal on the well, and lay vegetables around it, that’s why the third day of the new year isalso called “Kai Jing Ri” – a day of well re-opening. In some places, people collect dusts in dustpans, then leave the pan at the fork of a road, together with a broken sweeper – farewell to poverty.

Day 4: The day to welcome gods.  According to ancient mythology, all gods return to the world on the 4th day of the new year. However, as it is Fortune God’s birthday on the 5th day, to secure a good position in his good book, the welcome reception would start a day earlier, it is “receiving the fortune god”. Don’tbe surprised if you see sheep and carp on a sacrifice table – in Chinese language, “Yang” (sheep) also means good business, and “Yu” (fish) brings “abundance”.

Day 5: The chuffing fireworks continue from the night before, to celebrate birthday of Fortune God.

It is also a day to break poverties –  and lack of financial meansis not the only form of ill fate –  here’s the list of “big 5” to be broken on this day:

Poverty of intelligence

Poverty of knowledge

Poverty of inspiration

Poverty of finance

Poverty of friends

Firecrackers would be set off from inside the house to the outside – bye bye bad luck!

Ah – today, you finally can clean house again, thoroughly! And that garbage? Throw, throw, throw it away!!

On this day, you are supposed to get up early and work hard, the harder the better, although it may be slow, isn’t it the surest way to build up wealth?

Day 6: Day of Business Re-Opening. Be prepared for more firecrackers on the first day of going back to work!

Day 7: Legend goes goddess Nv Wa created human on the 7thday, no way fireworks will be missing on this occasion! By the way, just for your information, she created rooster, dog, pig, sheep, ox, and horse in the first 6 days.

Day 8: The day of Grain – if you are visiting friends and families in countryside, please don’t be offended if the host serves you half cooked food on this day – it’s a gentle reminder – not to waste food; it’s also a form of paying respect to hardworking farmers.

On this day, people will also worship stars by lighting up candles either at home or in temples. In the flickering candle lights, the elders would advise the youth no wrong doings even when alone, because the stars above are always watching…  say “Xing Xi”(good night stars) to your family after candles are out,  turn on the lights, and of course, set firecrackers off again!

Day 9: Another birthday celebration – the Jade Emperor, the boss of universe in Taoism mythology. What would you expect? Yes, more fireworks!

Temples will be busy again with devoted worshipers presenting sacrifices, burning incense, and praying for a peaceful year ahead.

Day 10: It is God of Stone’s birthday. No moving of anything made of stone on this day, i.e., a grinder, else it’ll bring a lean year to the growing crops.

Day 11: “Zi Xu Ri” – a day for father-in-laws to treat son-in-laws. After ten days of celebration, there must be plenty of food available in every household,  son-in-laws, come help!

Day 12: A day of choosing lanterns. Getting ready for the festive of lanterns, go find the one you like.  Works will begin in streets on this day to prepare for the lantern festive too.

Day 13: Lighting up lanterns. In countryside, married girls will invite mothers to meals, and in the evening, hays to be burnt and how embers glowed would disclose many puzzling questions, if you knew how to read…

Day 14: It is probably the least ceremonious day of the whole celebration, a day to chill and relax.

Day 15: The 15th day of the new year, Lantern Festival, full moon… this day marks the climax and also the end of the new year celebration. Streets are lit with bright, colourful lanterns, people go out with families and friends, appreciating the beautifully designed lanterns, visiting flower markets, and what’s more? Fireworks!

Like every other traditional Chinese festival, a specific food must be eaten on this day – Tang Yuan, or “Yuan Xiao”, depends on where you are, it could well be prepared in any sort of way of cooking, with any sort of stuffing – red bean, mashed dates, sugar, dried rose petals, with meat, without meat…, whether the Tang Yuans are steamed, deep fried, boiled, all means one thing – a harmonious year with a reunited family.

On that note, wish you all a prosperous year of golden snake!